Yesterday to Tomorrow

Mired in a universe of sighs

Peeling back multi-hued layers of a parallel universe

Dazed,irascible …of loquacity caught in the headlights

Trapped in an existential stupor

Of hackneyed plots and fractured nights

Once upon a time I hitched my wagon to the stars

Till truant reveries smothered in shadows of silence

Till incumbent dreams robbed of innocence….

They haunt me during my sleepless sojourns

Them zombies…In a world beyond blinkered reality

The silent mutiny of empty spaces

The bloodied remains of my butchered thoughts

Laid bare for the flippant to dissect…………

Is God a Megalomaniac?...

Ok first things first…

Disclaimer:I am not trying to take my shot at sixty seconds of fame with the eye-ball arresting legend nor am I trying to pull some cheeky stunt to instigate mass hysteria. (for that all you need these days anyway is a shoe aimed at the right bigwig and before you know it you’re an overnight celebrity with the flashbulbs.. the paparazzi.. the fanclub-the works…but of course that is within the ambit of a whole new write-up altogether )…all I am trying to do here is voice concerns that have been nagging me ever since I have been familiarized with the concept of paradise and redemption.

I was born a Hindu...but we’re not discussing religion here…I might as well have been a muslim, a Christian, a zoroastran or an offshoot of any from the the crowd of religious floatsam claiming precedence on our planet..Of course,the initial years of my life were absolutely religiously uneventful…like little pigtailed tots all over the world I gullibly prayed everyday for insignificant(in the larger perspective) things like good grades in school to matters of global importance like world peace. I unwaveringly believed in the existence of an omnipotent superpower…or in my case should I rather say in the existence of an entire gamut of 33 crore superhroes and heroines.. who had the flair and resources to right all wrongs. I followed all sundry rituals by rote without the slightest hint of an argument. My alma mater ,being a missionary establishment,only assisted in drilling the ‘god –complex’ deeper within my psyche… that was until I started developing a mind of my own…not that I am an atheist now…I still can’t make up my mind on that so am not trying to be judgemental here or nullify all we’ve been brought up to believe …the point I am trying to establish is.. have you ever thought how the need to ‘appease’ the powers that be has always been the focal point of all our religious moorings?which brings us to the moot question’is god a megalomaniac?’On one hand we’re taught that he…or to be politically correct in our gender-sensitive times…SHE , is the ultimate pin-up of all encompassing kindness than why do we need to be constantly on our toes so as not to catch him/her on the wrong foot and incur his/her wrath?Does God indeed look down upon us from a moral high ground ,keeping a close watch, ready to penalize us for the slightest breach to his/her ego? Why have we built a ‘holier than thou’ aura about our gods? Why do we need to build monoliths or make sacrifices in his/her honour to be noticed? Why do we need to give in order to receive? In terms of god hours spent why is god supposed to be partial towards those with a better track record? Why are arduous pilgrimages and supreme human sacrifices considered more blessing-worthy ? why is being an atheist a mortal sin?why do we need to believe in him/her to deserve his/her blessing?which is the god we believe in-the one who is supposed to selflessly love all his/her progeny or the one who’s partial towards his/her sycophantic fan-club? Isn’t good karma reason enough to earn us a place in paradise(if it at all exists) irrespective of our spiritual leanings?

If god is indeed guilty of redoubtable human trappings is he or she worthy of being worshipped at all?...

Existential Block

I’ve been in a literary stupor for some time now…the proverbial ‘storm’ has been long overdue but the ‘lull’ doggedly persists…am emotionally shipwrecked…call it karma for I was dangerously close to being the poster-girl of literary ego-tripping until the hydra-headed monster of ’expectations’ thwacked me right on the head and took me a prisoner of eloquent emptiness….i’ve had my knickers in a knot ever since trying to articulate intangible feelings in black and white but they like impish elves continue to mock me from just beyond reach…so finally I have decided to take the bull by the horns and do some serious damage control before the paralyzing grip of articulate vacuum plunges me into a binding period, definitively ending all reveries of being up there in the literary halls of fame rubbing shouldrz with the likes of rushdie and pamuk(read:siggggggggghhhhhhhhh)… the bright side is that it has made me more of a thinking individual pondering over the higher truths and deeper meanings of our existence in general and life in particular(am so close to nirvana infact that grapevine has it the spiritual gurus are threatening to go on strike…lol)….the result of all my contemplative posturing is that it has made me realize that more often than not it is our own expectations…the fear of being ridiculed…of not being able to live up to expected standards…that keeps us from discovering our true potential…we’re passive dreamers all fighting shy of actually taking the plunge …we got just one life to live, explore, screw up, learn and discover ourselves? so why fritter it away bound by shackles of ‘what-ifs’ and ‘if-onlys’? isn’t it worth trying and failing rather than never trying at all and living to regret it for the rest of our lives? So get up today and get that haircut u’ve always wanted to experiment with(yes…it need not always be lofty …sometimes small too counts)or show up for that audition u’ve always wanted to attend or make that long stalling trip u’ve ben putting off forever now …go ahead- be who you want to be,do what you want to do for life is full of infinite possibilities and it’s yours for the taking -conventions be damned…make the trip down the road to your personal redemption and do it today cuz tomorrow never comes…and before I get too suffocatingly preachy let me call it a day and leave you to sort out your own equations while I go start mulling over the plot of that book I always meant to author...who knows i might jst give Rowling a run for her money in the near future;-p

Social Baptism

Whoa people! What with blogspot ,facebook and twitter accounts yours truly has finally arrived thankyou…but then where are the archlights and flashbulbs?oh balls!The Bacchans and Khans have beat me to it….but then seriously…I have always been more of a social ‘Neanderthal’ than a social butterfly…the hullabaloo over orkut ,facebook and the gadzillions of their ‘me-too’ brethren has always eluded me…I’ve always been more than happy keeping my bowel movements and pet peeves to myself thank you very much…but then the pressure finally caught on and the ’ cut-above-thou’old-school purist in me buckled…(frankly started getting a little tired of the routine ‘not-even-an-orkut-account????????!!!’ balks, ‘what-a-moron’ incredible looks and wide berths that followed thereafter…moreover sharma-aunty-next-door’s facebbok account was the final straw… “what even grampa next door is on orkut?’wake up sid cud as well have been retitled ‘wake up moron’!!!)so here I am finally with my entire life an open book for the world (to which am sure am as insignificant to be non-existent today as I was yesterday)to chew upon,back in touch with friends I haven’t even thought about in millions of light years…(“but then that’s the whole point” my friend XYZ offers with an air of exaggerated patience perhaps taking pity on my naiveté “you are always up to date with the goings-on in the lives of people you hardly keep in touch with otherwise” fine except that if I were at all interested in whats happening in their lives why would I get out of touch with them in the first place?well I am yet to find the answer to that but that’s the last I’ve heard from XYZ in a while…”)…however,got to admit, am certainly not complaining about the blogging part of this entire coming-out-of-the-closet story since it gives voice to the dormant ‘ever-trying-to-break-free’ writer in me(‘let sleeping dragons lie’ am sure most who know me would opine)but like they say we are all entitled to our pet peeves …this is mine…and well so bottomline is…like it or not here I am (at last) this is me and all that jazz…and you better take my word for it when I say am here to stay…better watch out Mr.Bacchan…cuz I am watching you..check this space for more….